It’s 6:30 am and I’m doing it again. I am writing this thing that you are reading.
As the sun rises every morning, I sit at my desk writing. I’m talking about intentional writing, with a serious expression on my face. This is not a game. I don’t do it out of novelty. I don’t do it for money (most of the time). I don’t even do it for fun.
I do it because I have to. I do it because directors manage, doctors write doctors and writers write. I do this because if I don’t write today, I will inevitably find a reason not to write tomorrow. And it is responsible for initiating a chain reaction of “tomorrow”.
Sometimes, the writing process is actually one of the most annoying parts of my day. And through this experience I actually fell in love with the feeling of loneliness. I worship it. I pray to God for loneliness.
Did you get that? I will say again: I love to be bored. And I love when people think I’m boring.
This is the opposite. This is anti-cultural. Nobody wants boredom. And no one wants to say boring. But I do. Most of the things that people have created throughout history are to somehow get rid of boredom in one way or another – yet I run into it. I dubbed it myself The most annoying people are living.
What does it mean to be upset?
Most people think that this means nothing. Or something exciting happening. Most people think this means being inspired, waiting with anticipation for something to change our situation.
Most people find that monotony conflicts with creativity. In my opinion, nothing could be further from the truth.
When you start to feel annoyed, it’s the way of your mind telling you that the fun things to think about are running out. The graphic novel is over in your head. The song has stopped. Your mental projector has shaken its last scene and now the theater crowd is getting up to leave, but you’re still stuck in the back row.
Annoyingly Libran – always rational, easily hurt emotionally, very passionate and maybe a little too intense.
Good salvation, I say.
I didn’t feel this sensation of non-stimulation more intensely than a sensitive deprivation tank. If you haven’t heard of them before, they’re very “California.”
The tank is a completely soundproof, lightproof box filled with one thousand pounds of salt and water heated to your body temperature. When you enter, you are overwhelmed without swimming, and the separation of your skin and water is completely dissolved until you can literally feel the roar of your stomach, the beating of your heart, and the sensation of your mind without thinking. This is the closest environment a fetus can experience.
It’s terribly annoying.
For the first 30 minutes, your mind will not be calm. It’s like being locked in a room with a mental patient floating in that tank. The chat is endless!
But after a while, a creepy sensation of calm is created when you realize that no matter what, you have to stay in the tank. Then, the ideas start pouring in A snowfall of ideas 6
An endless suffocating flow of 0m material from each direction.
I’ve been trying for quite some time to find out exactly what it is about being bored that leads to this creative explosion and it’s hard to explain. But I think I’m progressing to understand it now.
Boredom is your brain without the luxury of boredom.
It’s about it: Most of what we do is try to remove the burden of loneliness from our lives through confusion.
We scroll foolishly through social media, looking for something to hurt our dopamine.
We watch videos to pass the time and put headphones on our ears to silence the monotony from within. But what happens when we embrace it?
What happens when we sit inside with all the discomfort and exist without trying to increase the volume?
I think the monotony creates a space inside because the noise has finally faded into the background.
The silent gap you feel between your thoughts and the outside world is the first step in freeing your brain from being creative. This is the only place where your thoughts are really unedited and unadulterated. Those ideas are really yours.
The place where you are raw.
Instead of anticlimax, from “doing nothing”, you’ll probably get an endless new idea and inspiration that will come in handy when you feel like you’re at the end of your rope.
Boredom is another word for stillness – and a little stillness is something we can all use more, don’t you think?
Don’t be afraid.