Maybe the sole purpose of television is to make us feel defeated.
I know I must have felt that way before.
Every time I turn on the channel, a new ad for a car I don’t have, a new reality show is shot in a foreign location where I’ve never been or a movie with a beautiful girl that I will never see..
Social media in exactly the same way.
How many times have you clicked through a Facebook profile picture of a “friend” (whom you’ve never met) at 1:37 and at least one * teenager * got a little jealous because they seem to be living a much more exciting life than you, good looking people And full of more sense?
And they are always on vacation. Dear God! Why all their pictures from vacation?
Who is giving this cruise out ????
Things like this really bothered me for 3 reasons:
1.) I felt like I was “backward” for my age. At age 24, I had close friends who quickly climbed the corporate ladder and what I thought was big money. And other friends who got a doctorate or professional degree were doing really great, exciting work
I didn’t want any of them, but I couldn’t help feeling a dweeb talking to them occasionally. When they asked me what I was doing, I could really tell them I was still “working in the restaurant and trying to get things out.”
2.) I felt like no one was behind me. I knew I wanted to start my own business (s), but I had no mentor to give me strong advice or a step-by-step action plan. I had no one who knew the rope and could help me if I fell. I wanted someone to tell me “do it, then do it”.
Unlike corporate world or graduate school, there are really no guidelines or “best practices” for being an entrepreneur. This is a shit storm you have to find yourself. That’s why it’s so scary.
3.) I felt like I was in a vacuum. In “real life” I was really the only person I knew who wanted to be an entrepreneur. All the people where I worked… they just wanted to be on the clock দিন day after day.
I wanted to meet others like me.
Who were driven to get more out of their lives and really wanted to create something new.
I could bounce ideas from people and it wouldn’t make me feel “weird” to think or talk about personal development.
I always knew that if I was able to fill my whole life with the people I wanted to be, success was pretty much guaranteed. It’s just common sense.
Why? Because people almost always meet the expectations set for us – whether the expectations are set by ourselves or others.
This is why stereotypes work.
I have taught college admission preparation (SAT, ACT, etc.) for many years and I can tell you that stereotypes have a statistically significant effect on how minorities and women feel about their math abilities. It has nothing to do with IQ – which varies from person to person.
The real answer is simple: if you’re told “statistically speaking”, you’re going to perform worse than your classmates on a particular subject … guess what? You often do.
There are expectations and your brain meets them. It’s not magic, it’s science.
Stereotypes can also meet positive expectations for you.
If you live in a family full of professional athletes, hopefully you will excel in sports and possibly become a professional. And what is happening in the end? You see multiple generations of the same family playing professionally year after year. Look at the Manning family in the NFL. Think they’re all just “genetically gifted”? This is a prime example of expectation in the workplace + years of training.
So over the past four years, I’ve broken my ass to connect with other entrepreneurs who are doing amazing things. I’ve gone out of my way to build mentorship relationships with startup founders, millionaires, and high-performance executives in all fields.
Because I was sick of feeling jealous of those who are doing well.
I realized that if I wanted to be one of them, I had to do whatever it took to get on their peers.
And I did. But it certainly didn’t happen overnight.
You need more than luck to succeed in affiliate business. But when I was finally able to build a huge community of super-valuable people around me, I noticed something incredible: it was almost impossible to fail.
If I had a question, doubt or fear, there was a pre-formed community around me who actually wanted to help me. If I didn’t know which way to turn, there was a consultant at Speed Dial for any problems I might encounter.
And above all, there was a new level of expectation on my part by those around me. They just hoped I’d do better, and I didn’t want to disappoint them.
Turned out I was making an entrepreneur in me all the time?
Creating that community of friends and mentors was the ultimate tool for kicking my progress fast – and perhaps the biggest reason I was able to move from one day job to self-employment so quickly.